This is the expression I passionately dislike.

I took this picture a few weeks ago. I, like a naive little idiot, believed it would be the last time I met this person. See, I don't know this person. This person is a straight up con artist. This particular person is a player of people, a slick manipulator of people. Really she is a manipulator of my friends. And I hate it. I

With every one of my friends she calls, trying desperately to get them to do her bidding, she inserts, don't tell my daughter, in there in which case every single one of them tells me. I'm like, ma, I've been friends with these folks for over 20 years. They're just meeting you. If there's an issue of trust here, they know me. They don't know you. And she continues to try.

I am losing it. I am losing this battle. I am over my head. I can't do this shit. It irks me. These games irk the shit out of me. I hear her put on the act. She shifts gears and quickly becomes this little ol' helpless lady begging for someone to do something for her. Really, to get her some pain killers...either over the counter or wink wink. Ugh!!!!!! 

My friends get got too the first time she pulls this oh woe is me shit on them. But the next time, her acting, manipulating, conning skills take a quick nose dive. She sucks after that. They are all quickly on to her scheming. They tell me too they knew the first time, but it's just once so they are like fine, just this one time. But she is like Oh, I got them...'bout to get me some whatever the hell she's fiending for. Ugh!!!!

Who the hell is this woman? I did not grow up with this person. The one I grew up with had a drinking problem when I was a youngster. Then again it seemed like back in the damn day every grown-up I knew had some damn drinking problem. And they all used to drive drunk as hell. Be all up on the front lawn and shit. We didn't even wear seatbelts back then. Be in the car with they drunk ass scared as shit. But, by the time I was a young teen, she stepped away from drinking...right after I got a black eye. My black eye then scared her straight. She stayed sober for thirty years.

I don't think I've unloaded as many swear words in this blog before, but I am right now just effin' over this shit. She's out with her caretaker right now who already told me my mom was planning the next scheme but I had already warned the caretaker about it. Ugh!!!!!

She really is going for it. I think it may have a lot to do with all the changes going on in her life. Her pain killer shit keeps her nice and numb in the brain, and that is what I think she wants. I don't think she really wants to feel totally sober right now. She went through that shit my friend gave her this Friday like I hit the damn Mega Millions or PowerBall. But money is tight as shit, and I mean tight as shit. Come December 23rd, she will have lived with me for an entire year. She does not have access to the folks back home she used to scheme with, the folks ten years younger than I that she hung out with, smoking and carrying on, thinking they're her friends when we all knew they were taking advantage of that 83 year old woman. Having hundreds of dollars stolen from her bank account via her debt card more than once, "losing" her debit card every other month, literally. 

She was left home alone in all that mess. The only kinds of relationships she could keep after a while was with cons who had free and easy access to a little eighty something year old lonely and living all by herself woman. And they played her good calling her ma, telling her I love you, telling her, if you knew your daughter was gonna keep you there bet you never would've went there. My mom saying, "I know that's right." That's when I broke that shit (that phone) and got a new phone number. 

The shit is splashing on the ceiling right now. Her emotions are big, her anxiety is large, and my home is the den of satan. Demons up in this mug effin with my mom and effin' with my living nerves.  This too shall pass. I know this. For every scheme she tries to pull that shit comes right up to me and announces itself. No matter what time I'm walking down the street, sitting on the train, doing whatever, I keep walking right up to her schemes announcing themselves to me, every effin' time. And not one of my friends want to be in the midst of her shit. Thank God for that. I got some good patient understanding people in my life right about now. She's lucky as hell we never hit any lottery, because after the shit she's been putting me through now on a regular daily effin' basis, a nursing home would have been in her IMMEDIATE future. But lucky for her, we can't afford that shit right now, so I just have to keep on keeping on and venting either on the volleyball court or right here on this blog. Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!

And this is just me venting....that's why I have this blog...to vent.