I owe my mom an apology

On a regular basis, several times a week, my mom complains that I "never do what (she) wants," or "I never listen to what (she) has to say." These proclamations often come just as I am going to bed, or to the bathroom, or taking out the garbage, about to walk my dog, checking on a load of clothes in the laundromat, or any number of chores or activities.
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She truly pouts, throws her hands up and down pounding or smashing them against the bed. She looks like a small child throwing tantrum.

Once upon a time, in the first few months, I used to give her that time or try to explain myself. Then the tantrums worked perfectly on me. But it often ended poorly. It was always a no-win battle for me.

This morning, at 5:25 AM, after hitting snooze for the second time, I finally forced myself to literally roll out of bed, reminding myself that I hadn't put out her medicine and supplements for the day, and that I had to pack her bridge game entry fee money (oh, and remember to give her a twenty so she can give ten to the caretaker who sneaks it back to me so I can repeat it the next day), and pack her Access A Ride money. I also needed to put out her medicinal, um, stuff. Then walk my dog then feed my dog and cat. Plus, I needed to put a snack in her purse for the day.

As I sat on the train at 6:25 AM on my way to today's job, I received a text from one of my mom's newest east coast bridge partners letting me know that the next day's schedule changed. So (*sigh*) sometime during my work day today I would have to spend at least fifteen minutes changing her schedule. I'd have to get that done before 5:00. I am suddenly remembering that I also need to schedule a second MRI, pay her water bill (which is now late), send money to her neighbor via my cousin to pay for lawn care. I need to find out about getting someone to look at her roof. I must pay the newest co-pay for her latest doctor's visit. Oh, shoot, I must make that eye doctor appointment as well as a breast exam and bring up having her stomach examined. I...I think that's it for now.

Yeah, I never do anything for her. Sigh...

Yeah, I have to apologize for all my tantrums I ever had as a kid, as well as every time I told her she didn't love me.

I wonder if she felt her money slipping away when I was little like I feel it slip away today. She's so expensive...

I finally bought myself new clothes and have decided to work on my materials needed for my career. I realized I had been neglecting myself like crazy while I spent time "never listening or doing anything" for her.

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